I spoke to actor Nick Khan for a special insight into what can go wrong when actors get out of control. Many of you will know Nick from a range of performances including Len (in the infamous pantomime partnership Len and Viv), and the sorcerer Punchkin. Anyway it was during Alice Through the Looking Glass that this particular incident took place. I met Nick in his spacious kennel in Stoke Newington.

May: "Nick can you tell me exactly what happened?"
Nick Khan: "It was during the Tweedle Dum and Dee scene, Charlie Foluronsho and I were up to some kind of business with a wheel barrow and far too many props for our own good. I remember it was difficult to move the barrow on the vast slope at Waterlow Park and then I remember seeing two chocolate Labradors and their owner- heading in our direction, and before I could say "you are about to break the fourth wall madam" I was busy clowning around with the dog because the audience found it funny.

M: "You were playing ?"
NK: Well yes, but I wasn't expecting a bouncy chocolate Labrador to turn Rottweiler, but of course within a few moments of me taunting it with what I think was a dustbin lid, it certainly did, and started chasing me. (Cue more laughter from audience). I remember looking at Charlie and I think he was laughing too, within a few seconds the mutt had chased me down and bit my butt, getting a good grip of my rump. He didn't let go, mauling me for a second or five and then I managed to get free. Then the owner came over and said in front of the audience -"she's not normally like that-she just got excited ". All was a blur after that and Charlie and I ran off to do a quick change in a bush, at which point I was in shock, turning whiter by the minute, and my arse was bleeding. "It's drawn blood" I remember telling everyone, over and over, and kept asking for a plaster. I remember everyone just kept laughing at me (including the Director in the interval) but I was convinced I'd contracted rabies!!

M: "Was the Labrador ok?"
NK: "No ! The dog wasn't injured".

M: "Sorry, were you hurt in any way?"
NK: "I had a nasty gash on my butt and i still have the scar to this day. That night I had a fever and puked-I think it was the shock, and I didn't sleep. The next day I felt so exhausted and had the worst headache I have ever had, I didn't feel like doing the show at all. Then someone told me Andy Serkis* was in-I soldiered on."

M: "What was the Labrador called?"
NK: "I didn't care if it had a name !

M: "Was he fit?"
NK: "No he wasn't fit !!".

M: "Have you any advice for the actors in the Sirens of Titan?"
NK: "Re-inforced pants ?

M: "What did the Labrador smell like?"
NK: "I don't know - do you think I would care?

"I'd like to thank Nick for his time, and hospitality. In my next bulletin, people, I will talk to some of the actors from The Sirens of Titan. "

*Andy Serkis - an actor who truly tries to get under the skin of animals. See King Kong and Gollum in Lord of the Rings, fine performances.

May, Canine Advisor. July 2010